Brainvomit

I have, in my possession (knock on wood), a very rare 3-day weekend.

I spent day 1 of said weekend catching up on yard work. Not that I have a lot of yard to worry about, but my black-eyed susans and coneflowers were literally overgrown by weeds.

Much better now.

Music, if you haven't noticed, surrounds us... it's a background noise in stores, it's in the car, it's in our homes. (I've got mixed feelings about this, as it generally trains people subconsciously to talk over and tune out music. It un-specials the music, to a degree.)

Weeding is extremely meditative. Almost always, I work in the garden without musical accompaniment. I find that with my hands busy, my mind free, the brain spins its own records from memory.

And I think it's important, for a number of reasons, that the brain should be allowed to do this from time to time. It exercises our memories. I believe it can also work to help refine pitch-sense, since you're recalling the music and trying to reconstruct the details in your mind. (I don't have anything to back that statement up, just what I suppose.)

But mostly, I think it's like... dreaming. The mind dreams at night, regardless of whether you remember the dream. It's a way for the mind to refresh itself and/or to look into itself. (Many of my own dreams fall into that category, which, for lack of a better term, I'd call "window dreams," since they provide a momentary window into how I'm really feeling about certain things.) I honestly do believe that there is some, some merit to the notion that the songs that get stuck in your brain can reflect how you're feeling.

As a musician, I think it's also important to pay attention to what gets stuck in your brain because it's a key to defining your taste. Why's it stuck in your head, is it a certain riff, or a timbre or texture, or a story? Pay attention.

So, I'm weeding in the garden. And here's what my brain comes up with...

Fell in Love With a Girl - The White Stripes 
In the Garden (ha... yep) 
Dogs - Damien Rice 


a song of my own that's been unfinished for a few years... not even a title...
When my own unfinished songs get in my head, I wonder if it's not a call to finish it... there's a reason these things come to mind, y'know?



That Summer - Garth Brooks
Rowing Song - Patty Griffin
Blank White Page - Mumford and Sons


Over My Head - the Honey Badgers
Honey Badger! Actually, The Honey Badgers and Battleshy Youths have a habit of getting in my head quite a bit, and it's usually the stuff they don't tend to play on stage. "Don't," "Battle," and "Temporary" all get lodged in my head with fair amount of frequency, Michael (I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS)


Violet's Dreams - Erin Magnin
Okay, so I didn't actually have the music in my head, but I could not stop thinking about the story of this song for a long time. It's a haunting story. I love it.



Also, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" ALWAYS, without fail, gets stuck in my head for a loooooong time while I'm weeding. I can't really explain it, I'm not really proud of it, it just is what it is.

Two days, two gigs, plus random radio things.

NBD.

Last Thursday, I had the extreme pleasure of filling the Hockessin Memorial Hall with music for a couple of hours. Locally-owned business Performance Physical Therapy was celebrating their 20th anniversary. I was, of course, totally thrilled to support locally-owned business. :D Also, I definitely ran into my elementary-school principal. What a crazy feeling. Also, the lieutenant governor was there, which was snazzy as well.

On Friday, I was on the bill for Mocha, Music, and More, another local gem - sponsored by the Friends of Newark (that's Delaware), hosted at Central Perk (my favorite for CHAIIII and its late hours). I think I've wanted to play one of these for over a year, and I finally made it in! They were celebrating an anniversary, too, now that I think about it - 4 years. Good stuff!

Shane rocked both of the gigs, being all graduated and having free time and whatnot. He learned the Banana Peel Rag in about a day, and played it at Mocha, Music and More. I'd love to have a recording of it sometime soon, but I say that about a lot of things, let's be honest. Gotta choose my battles (see previous post about never having time to sit down anymore).

A crazy thing happened on Saturday, too... turns out one of the guys from My Version Of It, the band that followed me at Mocha, Music and More, has a radio talk show down in Rehoboth. He got the idea to call me after I passed out business cards at the end of the gig. Go figure.

So I get this call as I'm getting ready to go to work, and, well, you can just listen to the interview if you're so inclined.

All in all, a pretty crazy few days. Crazy good.

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Incidentally, now that I'm blogging and thinking and all - I might switch to blogging at my Tumblr more. Shrug. I rediscovered it a little while ago, and it's just a ton easier to share media and short blurbs. 'Cause let's be honest, there are a dedicated few out there reading these novels, but I have not a lot of time to write them and photos and music and videos are a lot more fun. For everyone.

Just an FYI.

A week of running very, very hard, and Thanks.

I am, right now, sitting. In a comfy chair, in my house. I don't have to work 'till noon tomorrow, and I don't have anything planned the rest of the night.

It's really a little shocking, and strange, but I might be able to settle into it.

As you might be able to discern: yes, it has been a very intense week. The small moments I had set aside to relax were infiltrated with random anxiety, like the slow leak in my car tire, the inflexibility of my summer work schedule to facilitate its repair, my failure in so many ways to make good on commitments to others. My dreams, the window to my own inner workings, spoke nothing but worry.

And yet, though I walk through it, how should I complain? I was never promised ease, but life, yes. I will never grow if I choose the path of least resistance. Deep, sincere, and completely unsolicited encouragement came to me through many people. My parents (especially my father) turned my car tire around within 12 hours. AND fed me steak for dinner. I had random moments of happiness: taking a new kayak out for its maiden voyage, chirping to a cheeky red-winged blackbird female, finding a message in a bottle. 

With wine still inside. That's legit.

I am thankful for my life.

I am thankful for the two sweet gigs I played this week - one private event as a freelance classical guitarist, one public event as a singer-songwriter. (More details later!)

I am thankful for my friend Shane, who accompanied me to both gigs and took time to learn a couple of my songs, including the Banana Peel Rag, which is a kinduva tricky little tune.

I am thankful for the family and strong friendships in my life, for people who are with you regardless of whether the weather is fair or foul, and maybe regardless of whether you're going crazy and not treating everybody awesomely.

I am thankful for my relationship with God, which is a constant, and which keeps me floating regardless of how well things are going or how I may appear.

I am thankful for a moment of rest, and for grace to let the dishes rot in the sink one more day, and for what's yet on the horizon.

Geeking out: vidjagame music

Not that nothing's been going on with me, musically - I do have plenty to report on, and I should get to that at some point or other. Summer is insanity for me - we're transitioning into summer camp mode at work. Once the transition is over and we get into the groove, I should be more focused with the music thing.

For now, I'm going tangential. One of the ways I kick back, relax, and get inspired is by searching out really awesome remixes of videogame music. Also, it's a good practice to keep a listening journal, take time to listen to something and then write down what you notice about it. Sharpens your mind. If you've got interest in making music, you ought to listen with some intent.

Or not. Do what you like. That's just my take.

I am, of course, a gamer, but I am not as prolific of a gamer as I might try to seem. I've still never finished a Final Fantasy, even though I am in love with the music. When I was a kid, there were pockets of communities on the internet where you could get MIDI versions of videogame music - there was remixing going on then, too, but nothing as sophisticated as today. Most of what I had downloaded were attempted replicas, not remixes. VGMusicArchive is still around, where I used to get most of my music. I'd spend hours just listening to this stuff, which is how I know most of the Final Fantasy music without having actually played most of the games. It's just that good. You'll see.

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Okay, so here's a well-known theme, even for folks who aren't gamers. It's the Super Mario Bros theme, originally composed by Koji Kondo (also of Zelda fame) and remixed by Saitama Saishu Heiki (otherwise known as SSH). SSH is renowned for his punked-out remixes of a variety of game music. The year is... oh, it's the 80's, I guess.

This one, in case you didn't notice, is real punked-out. He gives it a nice long intro, releasing the main theme at 0:35. The fun thing: IT'S IN MINOR!! We're used to a blithe little riff to introduce the Mario Brothers, but this remix gives the whole theme newfound intensity.

I have noticed about my own music that where melodies are concerned, I like to leap around quite a bit. There's stepwise motion (adjacent pitches), and there's leapwise motion (leaping over pitches). The very beginning of the Mario theme is three huge leaps. And it's very leapy all in the middle, too. It could be coincidence, but...

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Time's Scar.

Chrono Cross.

Composer: Yasunori Mitsuda.

Year: 1999. So, we've now got capability for more sophisticated sounds, including actual percussion. This is a live recording, but it's pretty much a replication of how it was in the videogame. You've got to give it at least a minute and 15 seconds to get through the pretty intro into the rip-roaring gypsy dancing part.

Again, notice the two giant leaps with the violin right after the picked-up part.

This is a really iconic and awesome piece of music. I think the intro draws me in, but it's those two leaps right at the beginning that stole my heart away. There's an emotional and adventurous wildness about them.

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Battle Theme.

Final Fantasy IX.

Composer: Nobuo Uematsu.

Year: 2000.

Remixer: I dunno, it don't say T_T

Okay, so here's the thing. Final. Fantasy. Is. The. Thing.

Nobuo Uematsu apparently wrote like 160 pieces for Final Fantasy IX, and composed I think most of the Final Fantasies. Nobuo Uematsu is the man. The end.

I was having a conversation after a contra dance one time with a parent. She said her kid rated music based on its viability as boss fight music. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY CONCUR. To be completely fair, this is just a regular fight, and not a boss fight, but it's cool anyways. Uematsu is one of my favored composers, mostly because his music doesn't just convey a mood, it conveys a story. This is something I have innately understood ever since I found Final Fantasy music. Most of the time I would also get visuals and storylines. Sometimes this still happens, but to be completely honest (and hopefully not freaking you out), it's a little bit like a trance. The eyes shut, the inside gets all tingly, there is nothing but me and my imaginings.

So I try to not have it happen when I'm driving, is basically what I'm saying.

I will attempt to explain with this paltry breakdown:

0:00 - intro. There's going to be a fight. There's a lot of tension. The offset rhythms in the guitar, the melody that leaps, but tightly, the repeating of it.
0:25 - a little break. your focus flies away a little bit from the fight, a little space opens up for you to realize your own fear and determination.
0:31 - return to the intro riff.
0:37 - Theme A. (0:49, repeats.) This is the enemy's overture. This is the realization of the hero: this is the enemy. Tough, huge, unimaginably strong. The notes have lengthened, and there's some cool anticipations that seem to make it roar a little (as in the end of the first phrase).
1:02 - Theme B. Up to 1:07, you get these flighty little riffs overtop of a more soaring and stable couple of chords. This is the hero rising up in spirit, drawing up to the full extent of being, striking at the enemy.
1:07 to 1:14, the response. The enemy isn't going down so easily. The harmonies draw into uncertain territory, leading tones pushing you somewhere you didn't expect.
1:14 to 1:26 - actually an ECHO of the original Theme A, in new and more hopeful harmonic space, believe it or not. Listen carefully. The rhythm gives it away. We have a reminder that yes, the enemy is here, but the hero will stand and fight. The theme ends at 1:26 on this triumphant note.

At that point, the theme cycles back around on itself - in this remix, there's a guitar solo, but in the game it loops back around.

Hope you enjoyed my geeking out... maybe I'll do it again sometime ^^

Nobody needs 800 photos of themselves.

I'm pretty happy about how I've changed around social media.

Regarding my personal profile:

Within the last week, I untagged myself from approximately 800 photos. Nobody needs 800 photos of themselves anywhere. Get this... for photos that others have tagged you in, you have to click through three screens each to remove the tag. That's 2400 clicks. It took me awhile. (However, for photos in which you have tagged yourself, no such option appears - you have to somehow intuit that you should hover the cursor over your name so that a "remove tag" bubble appears.)

While it might be easy to connect on Facebook, they go to some insidious lengths to make it hard as anything to disconnect. I get a little skeeved out about an internet service that wants you to put your info up and then actively works to confuse you when you try to get it down.

I deleted all of the photos and albums I had personally created. I took down all my cover photos and profile pictures, but I did upload my little cartoon avatar that my sister drew for fun a few years back.

The best change I made, though, was limiting tags. You can set your profile so that Facebook has to wait for your explicit permission in order to post stuff to your profile - other peoples' statuses and photos, these days. Honestly, I don't know why everyone wouldn't do this.

I find it's useful mostly for personal limitation. Whenever someone posts a photo to my profile, it gets a bunch of likes or comments, and that's what'll keep me coming back to Facebook. I gotta see who liked it or commented on it. Duh. This way, I can still see the photo, but it's not connected to my profile for all time and it doesn't get automatically shared.

PLUS, step two: tag Em McKeever [Music] and then share it on that profile, instead of my personal profile. Because that's where I want my traffic going. I don't care much for my personal profile, other than a tool to manage groups and pages, and as the entity that can actually invite people to events.

Social Media.

"I'd get rid of my Facebook, but I need it for my music."

I've heard this from my peers, and I've said it myself, 

and I don't think it's true.

Occasionally, an article will pop up about Facebook and/or social media in general, and what it's doing to us. This one from CNN recently crossed my news feed. Granted, it's an opinion, but it rings true with me.

Some choice tidbits:

"...in today's always-on social media world, our solitude has been replaced by incessant online updates, which both weaken our sense of self and our ability to create genuine friendships."

"Kids are growing up ... assuming that it's perfectly normal to reveal everything about ourselves online."

"It's time to wake up to the truth about social media. Networks like Facebook have turned us into products in which their only economic value is our personal data. Like any other addiction, we need recognize its destructive reality. Facebook is free because it sells our most intimate data to advertisers. "

I have long recognized my own addiction to social media. I say it, and people laugh, and I do say it with a smirk and a side of sarcasm, which warrants a laugh. But I admit to times when I stayed up until 3 or 4 in the morning when I had work at 8 am. I admit to letting the rice burn because I was on Facebook. Some weeks, I have more control than others, but for the most part, I don't own my Facebook account. It owns me.

I've quit for periods of time. I think my longest stretch was two weeks. My longest longest stretch was really when I was on the island in Alaska, and the only connection to the outside world was a radio and 20 minutes of satellite phone per week. Those times, I remember being able to breathe.

I don't actually like Facebook.

There, I said it.

So why don't I quit? The argument comes across thusly: "I'd quit Facebook, but I need it for my music." 

Which, in all honesty, sounds and feels a little bit like "I'd quit drinking, but I need to relax."

Not for me, but, y'know, for an alcoholic. I'm a Facebookaholic. If you will.

What about it do I really need?

As a musician, sometimes the only way people contact me is through Facebook. In fact, on multiple occasions I have been contacted via Facebook message with a request for my e-mail address, which is clearly listed on all my Facebook pages, profiles, what have you.

I use it to create and promote gigs or other events. Socially, I also use it to gather friends together in various fashions, and I administer several groups and pages for work and/or pleasure. It's so mainstream now for so many people that I'm not sure I can ever fully extricate myself from my obligations. Or, even if I did, wouldn't I just transfer all those functions to other places? It's not Facebook I'm addicted to, it's something therein which I haven't yet pinpointed. I'm not sure that just ditching Facebook solves the problem.

I'm not sure that it's Facebook or social media which is inherently evil, and I'm not sure that cutting it out is the answer. But here's what I'm sure of.

It's not magic.

Social media is just a tool to reach people. It is no different from websites, or e-mail lists, or RSS feeds, or snail mail newsletters, or phone lists, or what the heck ever. It is JUST a communications tool. 

Ultimately, my success doesn't hinge on how well I communicate. My success hinges on making great music. That's what I want to do. If what I do is really awesome, people will find out. The end. Maybe instead of banging my head figuring out how to reach more people and scolding myself for not using social media more effectively, I should just focus on being awesome and becoming more awesome.

So heck with it all.

Horseshoe Crabs!

Time keeps eluding me, so here is a quick update:

Peace, Love, and Horseshoe Crabs was THE BEST! Ever! Thanks so very much to the Friends of DuPont Nature Center for all their great efforts.

I remember sun and breeze and sand and good, kind people and smiling faces.
I remember sweet free swag, including a PLHSC T-shirt and a free book about horseshoe crabs!
I remember my friend Shane joining me for the adventure and jamming on some sweet tunage.
I remember nearly getting front-ended (?) at a Shell station, which is still really hilarious for some reason.
I remember campfiretimes and sistertimes and beachtimes.
I remember "Hallelujah" singalongs and B95, the infamous red knot.
I remember a Red Knot song, which complemented the Horseshoe Crab song perfectly!
I remember Ennio, whose acquaintance we were quite pleased to make.
He did not regale us in person with any of his Spanish pop music though.

 :(

I mostly remember being really happy and making lots of really good music and being around really good people.



 COMING UP:

 Super-secret project with The Honey Badgers!

 AND some sweet gigs. Next one is the 6 in Willytown, brought to you by Gable Music Ventures.

North Carolina

The open road. A sticker-smothered guitar case. Sidewalks, strumming, and pocket change.

They just seem to go together, right?

I like a good road trip every now and then. I just retuned from another such trip to North Carolina, which in many ways is a second or third or fourth home to me.

The impetus for the trip involved a friend's wedding in Boone, which spun out into about a week of dancing and catching up and music. 

Here's a dulcimer shop in Blowing Rock, NC. This guy was so awesome. He let me try many of the dulcimers behind the counter.

Instrument shopping is something I take seriously and I go long-term when I'm making a decision. I need to play a variety of instruments and really feel out which instrument is the best fit for my need and personality. He had some cool ones, including some dulcimers in the shape of a banjo... I have mixed feelings about that.

I did purchase a dulcimer capo, though, in order to increase my current playing potential:

I managed to line up a gig at Tate Street Coffee while I was there. Coffeeshops, again, my favorite of venues. I had a small and extremely dedicated crowd, which are the best! And I played about 18 songs. All in all, a very awesome night.

I have to give a shoutout to all my friends who gave some of their time to catch up and talk to me. I felt really really super-encouraged after my trip was over. On my way home, I even listened to my own music and I was 200% less critical than I normally am. So thanks.

Finally, I stopped over at House of Musical Traditions near DC on my way back up the east coast. I used to live down the street from this store... I never appreciated it the way I should have.

Here we see the wall o ukes. They also had a whole wall of banjos, a dulcimer room (hammered and mountain), various percussion, tinwhistles, guitars (including some guitars upstairs that were too expensive to even breathe on), mandolins, some asian instruments I didn't even know the names of, and I'm probably leaving some stuff out.

Again, I bought nothing. But it caused me to dream again in ways I haven't dreamed in awhile. To imagine a fuller extent of what I could do. And, heck, one day I will buy a new instrument or two or seventeen.

I will leave you with a little happy, courtesy of my friend Jessie. I danced the last waltz in Winston-Salem on Tuesday with a gent by the name of Austin. As you may or may not know, usually that's it for the dance, but on this particular evening, the band (Pilot Mountain Bobcats) struck up this bouncy little number and we couldn't see not dancing to it... so here's a short clip of us doing just that, mostly improvising on swings, and me in my new skirt that my mom made. :)

EcoKeev: Teachings from the root

*** For those of you just joining me, I recently decided to merge my two blogs - EcoKeev and this one - since I don't update either of them enough to warrant having two separate blogs, and since part of being a crazy music lady is the nature aspect, anyhow. ***

These are my baby orange trees. I sprouted them from seed myself last October, and I've only lost one, which is some kind of a new record for me. (I learn 99% of what I do from trial and error, in most cases, and sometimes it's heavier on the error than the trial.)

 They recently outgrew their old "pots." If you can call sliced-up McCafe cups "pots." Their little roots were pressing on the sides and crawling out the drainage holes.

 Roots are utterly fascinating to me. They are so delicate. Yet they insinuate themselves into the soil, gently, patiently, persuasively. So much of a plant's health and appearance depends on its roots. You know the roots are there, because the plant's still alive and healthy. Yet most of the time, the roots are somewhat removed from the scene because you can't actually see them. When you look at a plant, you see leaves, stems, changes from the ground up.

 It may escape your mind completely that the lasting changes are made from the ground down. You can't always tell how a plant or a person is doing just from looking at them. I've had plants with root rot that appear fine for weeks before they even begin to wilt. Green-leafed and cheerful, and then all of a sudden they're beyond help.

 You won't always be able to see what's going on in the minds and hearts of people, even people that are close to you. You might not even be able to see what's going on at your own root level. Appearance can reflect truth, but is not always truth.

 There's a compelling need for people to be sensitive to the true nature of what's happening in their own lives and in the lives of others. To understand that the unseen root is the part that requires attention and care.

Mileage tracking, aLaska Pik tutorial video, fingernail politicks

As of yesterday, I began tracking my mileage. I was inspired by... my taxes. My lesson income did me in. Boooo. There were so many things I could have declared to keep more of my money, and I track my spending pretty thoroughly, but I haven't been separating out the music expenses. Plus I haven't been keen on what to declare or not. My buddy Alex gave me a ton of great tips back in the day... he's been making his living as a musician for years, so he knows all this stuff already. I'm not even going to pretend I understand it all, but I'm feeling pretty good about 2012 being the year where I make a hefty stab at it.

But mileage. I made up my own little spreadsheet and everything. There's some innately nerdy part of my being that LOVES designing spreadsheets. Are they any good? Who knows... they're good enough for me, that's all that matters. It probably helps that I am listening to this awesome remix of the Mario theme. It helps me to feel nerdy and awesome all at once.

I know there's software that does this stuff, but out of a compelling need to be exceedingly thrifty, I am gonna use my brains to use what I already have. Use it up, wear it out, make do, do without. Plus there's the notion that adding more things to your life doesn't necessarily always simplify your life.

Also, I made a video yesterday. I think I had more fun making the thing than anything else. I was thinking maybe I should just make videos that explain things. Because if nothing else, it was lots o fun.



Mostly I made this because there's little to no video demos explaining these things. I have no interest in drumming up sales, I just find that these things are a stroke of genius for someone like me who can't grow good nails (or just plain doesn't want to worry about them, because after all, there are rocks to be scrambled upon and fun romps on playgrounds and who wants to worry about breaking a nail?), More people might benefit from knowing about these picks. I can't believe it took me 13 years to find out about them.

The funny thing about nails is that no one can agree on what's proper. Generally it's accepted that the nails should be used, in modern day, but then again, not by all. None of the great guitar masters ever agreed. Segovia used nails and a lot of people have sort of accepted this, but, still. You see people with ridiculous long nails, you see shorter-nailed people (like me), etc. So really, there's no "normal" here (or anywhere!) and I don't see any harm in breaking some barriers and going after a solution that seems like it might actually fit what I need.

Extreme Pizza, and "Solace" on the youtubes

I gigged at Extreme Pizza in Wilmington the other night. Friday the thirteenth, to be exact. Extreme has been really snazzy - they've hosted a bunch of networking events for the inDEpendence musician network, and we had our FAWM meet and greet there. I enjoyed splitting the evening with friend and fellow songwriter Alyssa Regan. If her music is playing, it is never background music for me, because she's got the awesome intricate piano work which is coupled with some of the most awesome harmonic progressions.

I also posted a new video. I wrote "Solace" as part of 50-90 back in July or August. Most of what I wrote I didn't especially like, to be honest, but I got some keepers like "Sweet Life" and "Branded" and "Abandoned Bandana" and "Petal, Falling" (okay, maybe I liked more of them than I thought).

I'll be the first to admit that I like this song because it showcases a lot of fancy guitar things. I like it because of the tricky harmonic progressions that never quite go where you want them to. But that's not why I play it.

Bindering

Recently, I've been inspired to get my tunes all done up pretty in a binder.

Okay, maybe "pretty" is overkill. Regardless, I began collecting what printouts I have, three-hole-punching, labeling, indexing.

Observations:

• Of the roughly 86 documented songs I've written, 10 are instrumental, 5 are retired. I've got 51 sets of lyrics written down, and 20 still unaccounted for.


• 58 songs were written as a direct result of FAWM or 50/90, songwriting challenges.


• The list doesn't include any of my electronic compositions or compositions from college.


• My earliest songs from middle school and high school have almost all been completely lost. I had songs I'd written for friends as presents, etc. that I have forgotten. I may be able to find them in some of my old notebooks, but for the most part, it seems that I wasn't interested in preserving them at all. In fact, the interest in self-preservation only extends back maybe 3 to 4 years. And, y'know, let's be honest, probably they weren't that good anyhow. The only ones I really remember were the ones I continued to perform, which were instrumental ones like the Banana Peel Rag, because I didn't like to sing then.


• Songs apparently are retired on a basis of wanting to move away from whatever the song was about. Songs written specifically for then-boyfriends were all retired when the subjects became ex-boyfriends. Subsequently I moved away from writing specifically for people. (And let's be honest, I haven't had a beau in a hot minute, which makes it difficult to write for one.) There are also retired songs that were just an emotional blab of whatever, and I eventually made a conscious decision not to play them anymore. I can remember at least one case of finishing performing a song and thinking to myself, "Wow. I don't actually agree with what this song says anymore. I'm not going to play it for an audience ever again." I don't miss the songs I retire, though - they're not forced into retirement :) If I hadn't been compiling, I would hardly have remembered they existed.


• Collaborations have increased exponentially in the last three years. Mostly because of a conscious effort to learn to play nicely with others. It's been a wild and awesome ride.


• All these songs and yes, still, no album. And yes, it now seems more ridiculous than ever. But, y'know, the number of songs is not really the key here, the key is having songs that move. It's nice that I have such a wide pool to choose from.

Compliments versus Critiques

I spent my Sunday. I spent it completely. I zipped out of my house at 9:30 in the morning and crawled back in around 10:30 at night - and it was a day off. Cripes. I do have days that are slower - I do need to breathe - but for the most part, this is just the season of life I’m in.

As it was the first Sunday of the month, there was, of course, a contra dance involved. Generally, there’s time to catch a word or two here and there with your partner as you dance together up and down the line. A swing, or maybe an allemande, where you’re face to face for about eight beats, maybe more.

It was a little unusual when we struck up a conversation that lasted the entire dance, but I couldn’t let this guy off the hook. I’ve known him long enough to know some of his stories. He’s got some background with shows, folk music, and singer-songwriters. Apparently he has known some pretty famous folks from before they were famous. Ordinarily, this would not impress me in and of itself, but the conversation was enthralling, as you will find out:

We ended up getting into a discussion about FAWM and some of the finer points of being an effective singer-songwriter. I’ve had a lot of discussions about this. Here’s where it got interesting for me: this guy generally doesn’t like singer-songwriters.

And yet, he knows them well. He knows what works and what doesn’t, mostly through seeing a ton of what he doesn’t like.

At the end of the dance, I asked him if I could send him a few tracks here and there to critique however he saw fit. To my utter delight, I now have his business card.


Let's get something straight here: I will accept any comment anyone wants to make regarding my music. Gladly and gratefully.

But I will only actively seek comments from folks who A) know what they’re talking about and B) have the guts to be completely honest. And I think any serious singer-songwriter ought to consider who those people are in their lives, ferret them out, and actively pursue their feedback.

Obviously, I’m thrilled that folks feel so moved to compliment my music. That they take the time to encourage me. But I’m looking for the comments that tear everything apart - praise the good, but understand the why of it, and also point out the bad without fear.

It's a kind of mentorship - you go into it with the understanding that the intent is not to tear down, but to build up. Sometimes building up requires tearing out a rotten board or two. You don't have to be embarrassed about it.

The bottom line: If you don’t have a good song to begin with, no amount of production can improve it. If you want a good song, you have to become a student of songwriting. The world is tired of the same cliches and the same stories and the same beaten-to-death harmonic progressions.

(Or at least, I am!! Shoot!!)

FAWM Blog #9: Showcase Showdown

For me, the FAWM season is now done. The songs have all been written, and the showcases have all been SMASHING.

The first, at the Newark Arts Alliance, was recorded entirely by Michael. You can watch the whole playlist on YouTube. (I had to scoot in after a contra dance, which is why I’m wearing my skirt and being barefoot.) The audience was very attentive and eager to interact. Which worked out awesomely on “Sea Song” - I had them humming along... it created a perfect ambiance. It was a great opportunity to play my uke and dulcimer stuff, which I felt would be too troublesome to bust out at other showcases.



The second, held at Extreme Pizza in Wilmington, was kickin’. This was a later showcase put together by our friend and fellow musician Jacopo de Nicola. Many thanks for his thoughtfulness and hard work. It was nice to have an evening showcase - and a Friday night, at that! Jacopo let me borrow his bass so I could play “Your Star.” It was well-received. (Especially by one of the waitstaff who I’m pretty sure was the one hollerin’ at me “I know that’s right” as soon as the bass licks started rollin’)

The third, at the World Cafe Live at the Queen. The staff treated us so well. The sound was great. The food was great. Our audience, attentive and sizable! Bam! And the “Stinkbug Song” finally made its stage debut.

Here’s a photo of us at the end, courtesy of James Simpson Photography:




And also a photo of Matt and myself playing “Let There Be Snow,” courtesy of Michael:



I gave out plenty of CD’s of my FAWM output and I’m thinking I will release the tracks to bandcamp. Just trying to decide whether to post just the 14 that are purely mine, or if I want to ask my collaborators if they’re cool with me putting their work up on my bandcamp. For free. Hmmmm.

Mostly I am proud. Of myself? Yeah, sure. I am. But I am primarily proud of our awesome little community. Three showcases. Many folks showed up at all three. Ten acts at least at each. Incredible talent. (As I frankly told one audience member, “the only difference between us and what’s on the radio is that we’re not on the radio.”)

But... incredible people, too. People whose talent wells up out of a naturalness of self. And the thing is that the selves involved are just beautiful and wonderful.

There was one FAWMer who approached me at a showcase, expressing gratitude towards Michael and me for all of our work promoting and organizing. There was a note of underlying worry. A kind of worry that says “it must have been such a burden for you.”

If you’d ask me, “Were there hard times?” I’d say yes, definitely. But I was blessed to be working alongside of some awesome people who shared them with me. “Did it stress you out?” At times. Life is busy, and enthusiasm is a poor guard against time constraints.

“Was it a burden?” A resounding and emphatic no. Because every step, good or bad, is part of the journey toward this end. I already know the outcome is good. I am already wholly convinced of that. If a difficult thing happens in the process, I can deal with it in its own moment without losing sight of the big vision.

It’s good, people!

FAWM #8: FAWM OVER

I received a text from a friend this morning. This is how the conversation went:

Friend: MORNIN' 8:42 AM
Me: I BEAT FAWM :D 9:10 AM
Friend: Now we rehab you so you can enter society again! 9:11 AM


(Is it that obvious!?)




This is a word cloud compiled from all the lyrics I wrote or helped write this month. (Pretty cool!)


So, yep. All the songs done been written. I was surprised by my output. Someone posted on my wall telling me I had the most songs of anyone in the Philly area. (I didn't know anyone was keeping track!) This is pretty cool. But only 14 are purely "mine." I don't know. I'm flattered, but I'm also being humble about it. I wasn't competing, I was just trying to write and let God do things by my writing. And I'm really, really pleased.


ME, JUST ME!:

Songs
1. Kaleidescope Heart
2. The Stinkbug Song
3. Keep in Mind
4. I Like Trees
5. Amaranth
6. The Underground Spring
7. Vultures
8. Murre Song
9. Come June / Swallowtail
10. Your Star
11. Sea Song

Electronic
12. Game Over
13. Earth and Sky

Instrumental
14. Waltz for a Clementine


Playing nicely with others:

with Matthew Halley:
15. Let There Be Snow
16. Finding My Feet (also with Erin Magnin)

with Erin, Shane, Andrew, Michael:
17. White Kids

with Shane:
18. Flowers Gotta Grow
00. *Viva (and Stefan) (*I did not accept credit on FAWM due to limitations on listing 2+ collaborators)

with Michael:
19. Damsel of Distress

with Stefan:
20. The Errant Whistler (and... Shane. Kind of. Accidentally. Darnit Shane.)

with The Other Otter - Bryan, Josh, and Angela:
21. The Downtown
22. A Song About Physics
(and maybe a couple other tunes that I've contributed to but they're not done with 'em yet)


Now, that's a nice sight to see:




WOO now I can sleep and do laundry again! ...

Oh wait, we've got some showcases around the bend yet. :3 STAY TUNED!!

FAWM Blog #7: The home stretch.

Well, I left you hanging around song 16. I finished up FAWM with 22 songs this year. As I mentioned, I was determined to do 14 songs entirely on my own, and I met my goal. I praise God for this. Because in all honesty, most of these last few songs have just dropped completely into my head. Much of the process, by the end of February, has become so internalized that I don't consciously think about the way I want to express it, I just do it. OR it gets dropped into my head. A couple of lyric sets I had envisioned completely different music for. Then, the way they came out was completely not what I had originally wanted, but it fit so much better than how I would have done it.

SONGS:

#17: Vultures. I will not link you to the demo because I didn't want it available for download. It's one of the most negative things I've written in a long time, though it does redeem itself at the end, and I feel it's a true representation of something deeply lodged. It's not bad to write stuff like that. But if my heart is for my brothers and sisters on the earth, I want to take time to think about what I'm going to feed into their spirits. This is most important. Yes.

Vultures was written over a period of a few days. I had meditated on the words and the meaning for awhile. In spirit, I was carrying something painful and I really wanted nothing to do with it, so I was crying out for the burden to be severed from me. I woke up one day and felt quite definitively that the vultures said no. Keep going. And while this could seem depressing, I was... relieved. Honestly. Because it was not a condemning sort of "keep on sloggin'," it was more of a "you're not as dead as you think you are - you're alive and you'll carry this just fine."

#18: Game Over. (mp3) An electronic thing. This was a verybadday. I was intentionally not eating because I had been marginally ill for a week and wasn't digesting and had a disappointing weekend at the beach and lungphlegm and the painful thing was still painful.

#19: Murre Song. (mp3) I wanted to write another Alaska song. It has taken 2.5 years for them to start trickling out. I am hoping for more soon. Anyway, this is from the liner notes: Murres!! I had a chance to study Murres in Alaska in 2008. I have always been somewhat awed by the way they come into the world. They nest on these rock cliffs (see below for photos/videos) and after being alive for 3 weeks, they "fledge" by jumping off the edge of these cliffs into the ocean IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. You've probably seen the Planet Earth ducklings jumping out of a tree. They've got NOTHING on murres.

I told Matt Halley that this was in the style of Matt Halley, and he agreed. He has been a good influence on me because he has taught me by simple example that slow and contemplative songs are powerful and worthy of my effort. I did write them before, but now I have more peace about writing them.



The next three were written between 5 pm and midnight yesterday. I am somewhat amused of the variance in genre between the three songs. Who the crap am I that I can do that? So crazy.

#20: Come June / Swallowtail. (mp3) Essentially, I've still got these three black swallowtail butterfly pupa, in their chrysalises, sitting beside the kitchen sink, overwintering. I had no idea when they'll emerge. Or even if they'll emerge at all. But I can NOT bring myself to get rid of them.

This is one that I did not expect it at ALL to sound as it does. I had this idea that this song was gonna be sad and slow and it ended up being... multifaced. Charged up at times, meditative at others, emphatic even a bit. I'm very proud of it. It's a stab at something a little new and different.

#21: Your Star. (mp3) I basically had wanted to write something with just the bass, and I also wanted to put a ton of filters on something. Again, NO IDEA. The music came out of nowhere. I was mostly just playing, I mean, for an hour I was about 8 years old writing and singing. I didn't try to write excellent lyrics, I didn't try to think about it very much at all. And I kinda... like it. :)

#22: Sea Song. (mp3) A celtic-y hymn-like thing. Pennywhistle x2 and dulcimer. This one actually came out how I thought it would.

FAWM Blog #5: Collaboration nation pt. II

You can find my up-to-date FAWM page here:
http://fawm.org/fawmers/emkeev

---

Two (to three) more are up. With one in the works. ANTICIPATIONNNN

On Monday, I was supposed to jam with Matt, but I felt like crap. So that didn't happen. :( Sorry, Matt.

On Tuesday, I felt less crappy. So I hauled m'self up to Philly to jam with THE OTHER OTTER! (Which, incidentally, makes it sound like I am also an otter. I like band names like this. Local band My Friends also has this effect: "Hey, come listen to My Friends!")

The Other Otter, anyway, is a band/collective/group of awesome folk. Folks. Folk? People. HUMAN BEINGS! Bryan and Angela and Josh, who joined us a little later. We wrote a couple of songs... I'm excited about BOTH of them. In different ways. "A Song About Physics" (mp3) was created by means of a writing game; each person was supposed to write a one-line response to the last line written, then pass the paper on around the circle. Rules may have been bent, but it was in the name of awesome songwriting, so I think we will be forgiven. This was a very thoughtful and constructive process, which I enjoyed thoroughly.

And then Josh came home. Josh is the third of the otters. Otter. o.o He laid down some ideas involving chords and breaking glass, Bryan said something about downtown, there was some intense strumming and headbanging and... oh crap, it's not up yet. It'll be worth it. Promise. (EDIT: IT'S HERE!!) This process was really more... um, de-structive?? But TOTALLY EPIC. There was a whiteboard involved, though. And I am pretty sure I laughed from about 9:30 until forever. I'll be surprised if I made it through any of the takes without giggling.

Now we're up to Wednesday. Which ended up being, GUESS WHAT, another collaboration session. Rather impromptu. Shane and Stefan came over, tea was involved, songs were written. "The Errant Whistler" (mp3) came about thusly: Stefan said the penny whistle sounded totally sweet on the Christmas album, I picked it up, he played the guitar. We just made things up for ten minutes until we had that tune. Shane happened to walk in on the best take and started flippin' whistlin', not knowing we were actually recording... THANKS, buddy... but it sounded cool and so we kept it and named it appropriately. Which is kind of lucky, actually, because it's kinda hard to name instrumentals.

You will not find this one on my FAWM page, as I had just "won" by posting "The Errant Whistler," but Shane and Stefan marked this down as a collab: "Viva" (mp3), an instrumental/vocalized trio with 2 guitars and 1 bari uke (more or less baby guitar). I like how it came out. I do think we ought to do another recording - the whole night was so laid-back that we just kinda'... meh.

Yeah.

Um, so, I guess technically I won.

But it doesn't feel like I did. I only wrote 8 on my own.

I am therefore determined to finish writing 6 songs on my own, in addition to whatever further collabs may happen.

Also my birthday's coming up and I'm not sure I even care... I just want to write songs. Make music. I still have so many ideas. I still wanted to write more electronic stuff. Aggghhhh!

Work has noticed the effects of my songwriting. "You look tired." Yes, well, I am. But I love what I do.

For the record, though, I DO plan to sleep more than 4 hours tonight! Yippee!!

Contra Dancing!

(I'm double-posting. I don't care.)

I'm happy to say that I've joined up as a board member for the Arden contra dance, which is my "home" contra dance by virtue of the fact that it is the closest dance. 30 minutes is pretty close... by my own informal research, an hour seems like a typical drive, two hours or more is common for a special dance.

Anywho, so now I'm helping. I like helping. Since I'm pretty good at internet, I took over interneting. I had to think for a hot minute about a page versus a group for the contra dance facebook presence, and I went with a group.

It took me about a week of serious thought and research (e.g. poking around on the internet) to get to that point. It seemed counter to the social media training and intuition I've got. When I took over things for the park, it was... kind of a mess. By "mess," I mean that there were a few different groups and no fan page for the park. No one seemed to understand what the difference was between the two, and to be fair, it took awhile for the differences to emerge in actual user experience. Very basically, pages are what you use if you're a business. Groups are what you use if you're a community.

The park needed a page; contra dances need groups. Simply put. I'll be happy to explain in detail if you care to know why.

So it's over here! Yay!

I also will be doing some e-mail list stuff. And, obviously, I hope to get more folks involved. I'm not just talking about my friends - I go back and forth between feeling like I'm harassing folks versus doing them a disservice by not including them. All I'm trying to do is make more people aware that you can get three hours of live music, exercise, culture, dance instruction, awesome people, and fun for only ten bucks.

FAWM Blog #5: Collaboration nation.

You can find my up-to-date FAWM page here:
http://fawm.org/fawmers/emkeev

---

Song number 9: "White Kids." (mp3) A beatboxing improv generated by us five kids after we were done listening to last Sunday's production of Hometown Heroes. We won the Homie Award for Best Collab - for the Diner Club Christmas album! Then we were ridiculous. And beatboxed. Myself, Andrew, Shane, Erin, and Michael. And it was good. The end.

Song number 10: "Flowers Gotta Grow." (mp3) with Shane Palko. Just a happy little collab. I really like it... it seemed really simple at the time, but something about it is catchy and happy and pleasant on the ol' eardrums.

Song number 11: "Finding My Feet." (mp3) This one's another collab. Joining me are Erin Magnin and Matthew Halley. We wrote and recorded this in two and a half hours. It was really magical. It's a slow tune, employs three-part harmonies and a little guitar strummin' to tell a story about finding one's own feet after disconcerting circumstances.

Song number 12: "Damsel of Distress." A collab with Michael Natrin, which I mentioned in the last post, or the post before. Dulcimer and banjo and a humorous ballad-type thing, in which we switch meters and tempos and all kinds of fun stuff! Will Phil save the damsel, or what?...

Song number 13: "The Underground Spring." O HAI LOOK I WROTE A SONG BY MYSELF! Yeah... this one was tagged as the week three challenge, "big topic." It seems to be about the passage of time, but I'mma be honest with you. The metaphor is a vehicle for me to describe... oh, any number of things regarding God. Overcoming of death. His loving nature. His nourishment. His presence despite appearances. I really love it.

Whew. So I've been busy. But I don't think I'm nearly done writing, even though I'm so near the 14.5 song finish line.

FAWM Blog #4: I'm up to 8!

You can find my up-to-date FAWM page here:
http://fawm.org/fawmers/emkeev

---

So, basically I'm an overachiever. Not only does this song have multiple instruments and harmony tracks, but I took photos of the trees I was describing and made a video out of it:



I'm basically really happy with that one. It's called "I Like Trees," in case you couldn't guess.

I also wrote and recorded "Amaranth" (mp3) in 3 hours today. I wish I could tell you about it, but I think that's for another day. I think that the inspiration for it isn't yet done with me and I'll see another few songs sprouting from the same seed, at which time I'll happily update you.

I enjoy putting on different styles. It's like putting on different costumes. I'm blessed to have the ability to express things this way. My only prayer regarding the whole songwriting business is that I can return even a fraction of this blessing through the thoughtful crafting of songs that reflect His goodness and His truth. And, I mean... I want it for every song. Not just certain ones. I crave it. I feel hungry or thirsty without it. 'Cause that's what makes my songs live and it's what makes me live.

Michael and I also did some collabing today, and the song is pretty much done, but we didn't quite get to recording anything other than a scratch track >.< Look for it tomorrow!

A break is in order so that I can tend to things, such as some contra dance stuff and some business matters with the music... again, more on that another time!

FAWM Blog #3: Let There Be Snow

You can find my up-to-date FAWM page here: http://fawm.org/fawmers/emkeev

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Song number 6. "Let There Be Snow" (mp3). Collab'd with Matthew Halley, who did awesome with harping and singing and recording and of course, the co-writing.

What to say about this? We had a great time, and a beautiful song was written. Bam.

Some days, I remember having thoughts like, "Man, if I could make my life better, this is what I would do: I'd spend my time creating things and musicking with other people."

And then I realize that's what I'm doing now.

FAWM Blog #2: Full speed ahead

You can find my up-to-date FAWM page here:
http://fawm.org/fawmers/emkeev

---

I've been tracking roughly a song a day.

Practical consequences:

• Eating has taken a hit. I now consume one giant meal per day, with little snackies all around. The problem is not the having of food. The problem is that I will write a song for several consecutive hours and during that time, I leave the mortal realm altogether. Exaggeration or not - except for extreme circumstances, I have no concept of hunger or physical needs during the time I'm writing songs.
  
• Sleep has taken a hit, but that's nothin' new.
  
• Eyelids have begun to twitch.
  
• "I can't, I have to write a song" has become a standard excuse for not doing something.
  
• The house is only marginally more dirty, as I have managed to keep pace with most of the mess.
  
• I'M SO HAPPY.
  

I wrote two instrumentals. Earth and Sky (mp3) is electronically composed. I was so tired and hungry when I uploaded it (extreme circumstance) that I dissolved into a fit of self-loathing, tore it down, and went to sleep. I felt better when I woke up, so I put it back up. All's well. I had fun writing it, though, honestly. I think my main damage was that I hadn't really decided what the song was about. Even if there's no lyric, a song (to me) needs a direction, a thought, something to tie it together. So I ended up with what I think of as a song with multiple personalities. But I do like it.

Then there was "Waltz for a Clementine." (youtube)



I opted to make a video because I wanted folks to experience this really cool instrument. My performance is a little heavy-handed because I was just flat-out enjoying myself. I do like the piece itself. It's honestly not at all what I was expecting to write - I originally picked up the guitar and the notebook and ended up with a dulcimer tune with no words. Go figure. The title's from something I heard yesterday at the dance... one of my friends was waltzing around with lemonade and then told the story of another friend who was waltzing with a clementine... I knew the title was "Waltz for a" something, and Clementine just seemed to fit.

I love my dancing friends. Have I said that recently? I'm thrilled they're a part of my life. I went yesterday to the Arden contra dance, alone, having neglected to try to coerce anyone into joining me due to the busy times of FAWMing. But when I got there, I was joined by some good people from New Jersey and then we met with another good person in Philly and life was just... really... good.

I also really enjoy musicking with Matthew Halley, who did a really awesome collab with me this evening. He's adding a little folk harp and throwing it together soon. It's gonna be sweet. We've jammed a handful of times over the last month and it's been great having another detail-oriented music person to bounce stuff off of.

Speaking of bouncing - I'mma bounce to bed.

FAWM Blog #1: Three songs, radio interview, focus, energy

You can find my up-to-date FAWM page here: http://fawm.org/fawmers/emkeev

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A little backlogging before I get to the songs: Todd Chappelle and I were on Graffiti Radio on Tuesday (January 30). The podcast is available here. Mike Nigro's a fun guy to get interviewed by, and Todd's a great guy to have on your team. Team FAWM. Team what the heck is this mess oh yeah FAWM.

I got made fun of for saying "word." I thought the mic was off. It was right before a commercial break. I don't know if it came through, but Todd thought it was hilarious and now it's a running joke.

I played "Space Trash" and "5 Stages of Infatuation," both of which don't receive a ton of play. (Possibly because I'm not playing out a ton right now.)

Well, so I have three FAWM 2012 songs right now. I took off from work on February 1, and basically just wrote for many hours. I recorded Kaleidescope Heart (mp3) and The Stinkbug Song (mp3). Stinkbug's part of a request from a co-worker, and it's some of my best banjo work/writing to date. Kaleidescope Heart was my "first fruits" song. Essentially, just dedicated to God. I do pray for all my songs to belong to God and to be centered in His love, but this'd be just a special dedication. The really cool thing about first fruits this year is that some of us FAWMers got to talking about it in the forums - a whole big long thread of really excellent and articulate discourse on worship and the place of music in church and with God. I said that I do this first fruits thing, and a few people picked it up and tagged their songs as "first-fruits," so you can filter songs by that tag and see who did it and what they wrote. Really awesome. I love what they wrote. I was really blessed by what they wrote. :)

Okay, so... there's a ton of really excellent talent that signed on with FAWM this year. We should have a really excellent couple of showcases in March. I'm also personally just really pleased because there are several new lady singer-songwriters, and, y'know, I'm totally fine hanging out with guys, but, it's nice to balance things out a little.

Nuff said.

Then today I wrote Keep in Mind (mp3), which is actually my favorite so far, because while I guess it came out sort of mysterious, it makes complete and total sense to me and it is the combination of my heart and God's heart for me. I wrote most of the lyrics in the grocery store parking lot. The lyrics just began to come to me as I was driving, and then I just had to sit and write them out before they fled.

That's one thing I'm enjoying about February. I know that it's time to buckle down and write songs. So you just do it. You take an hour in the parking lot to get the lyrics down. You spend Friday night in amid offers to go out. You just know that the songs need writing, and you balance everything with that when you can. I really enjoy the focus. I wish the other 11 months of the year had similar things... and, granted, they probably will. Soon.

FAWM Eve.

It's almost eleven o'clock on the east coast.

We've got two FAWM showcases lined up for March.

We had an awesome meet-and-greet yesterday, involving a ten-minute songwriting challenge:



(That would be a video playlist of the seven songs written)

We were on the radio this evening with Mike Nigro at Graffiti Radio.

There's nothing else to do except... become consumed by the writing.

Dear real life, goodbye for now.

FAWM 2012!

Here we are again. Another February, another FAWM.

That's February Album Writing Month!



I've completed two FAWMs already. This is my third year writing, and my second year organizing. I've had the distinct pleasure of co-organizing with Michael (Battleshy Youths) (Honey Badgers). We're a well-oiled organizational team. Joining us in the effort so far are Todd Chappelle and Aaron Nathans.

Sometimes, it's a little surreal.

The organizing, I mean.

Do you remember the moment when you grew up and realized you could eat bacon WHENEVER YOU WANTED?

That's kind of like this.

The response is incredible. Very few people I've talked to have said no to FAWM. Seven new Delawareans joined this year along with a few folks I know from Philly, and one of our new Delawareans managed to recruit some folks - without even having started FAWM himself.

It ain't a numbers game, though. I just love to cultivate creativity. People have these kernels and grains of the stuff, and sometimes they let it grow and sometimes they don't. I'll tell you one thing: a garden's a sorry place with just one flower.

Pretty soon, we'll embark. We'll be at the inDEpendence musician network on Monday; they meet at Extreme Pizza once a month for the sole purpose of strengthening Delaware's music community. Then we'll be on Graffiti Radio on Tuesday at 8 pm! Listen online by clicking through to that link. Wednesday, I'm taking off work and writing music all day. ;)

Showcase details forthcoming. Yep yep yep. For more info, check out the website or the facebook page for all the happenin's of FAWM in the Delaware area.

All-local iPod

A year ago, I got a new laptop. It was a total surprise - random birthday present - I'm not really one for material gifts, but you're not gonna look a macbook in the mouth, are you?

I never rebuilt my music library. My iPod, therefore, is still synced to the old laptop, where all the old music is.

The old music library has its issues, though. Over the years and transfers from machine to machine, things had been miscategorized or mislabeled. One of my favorite classical albums somehow got each track separated into its own album folder, making it impossible just to shuffle within the album. Plus, there were artists in there that I didn't really want - except for a few songs here and there, I generally skip past Rammstein and Nine Inch Nails. I'm not entirely sure how they got in there, honestly. Oh, and if you ever studied music history in college, you'll sympathize with this one: fractions of songs. I actually love to listen to the stuff I studied in college, but some of the packages contained CD's that split songs into segments of a minute or less. This made it easy to study, but man, if you want to just listen to the piece - good luck. It also means that when I put my iPod on shuffle, I might get just the middle section of the Introit of Mozart's Requiem (beautiful beautiful beautiful). Similiarly, folks who record short demos or song ideas also have such other fragments floating around their libraries.

Okay, so it's got problems. You get the picture.

Well, this presents me with a few options. I could just put up with it. But that's not really in keeping with my character. I could just go through the library and ditch the stuff I don't want, and try to re categorize everything.

OR... I could re-build. It would take time, and it might be a gradual process, but it would ensure a well-organized library.

I got to thinking, though. If I'm a supporter of local music community, shouldn't I put my money where my mouth is? There's plenty of awesome local musicians, most I've met, some I haven't. I have fond memories associated with these people and these albums. Let's rebuild only the local music.

So, that's my current task. And here's what I've got to work with:



Yeah, it's not a ton, but it's a start!

If you care to read on, I'll list what I've got:

Artist - Album

Ba-Durr! - Demo (Newark punk band, I love these guys!)
Battleshy Youths - Grow (YES! Michael and the gang!)
Matt Brown - My Native Home (Great old-time folk musician, has since left for Chicago.)
Tina Colon - Taken Up (Met her at a young adult Christian conference in Mass, she is in NY.)
John (???) - some kind of a demo wrapped up in sheet music. His facebook page seems to be gone :( (johnsounds??)
Mark Engebretson - Where Does Love Go? (my composition prof at UNCG)
John Francis - The Better Angels Project (Saw him at a house show in Wilmington. I helped fund this CD and got a signed copy in the mail when it came out!)
Glad Hearts - The Oak and the Acorn (Actually have no idea where I got it. I think it was gifted to me by someone who thought of me when they saw their show.)
Matthew Halley - Birdsongs (Just met Matt a few months ago and we've had some awesome jam sessions. I'm so happy this album exists.)
Matthew Halley - some rough demos (this will be worth a fortune one day)
The Look Machine - Above this Clouded Mind (They're not together anymore. But I love this album. Shane was the drummer and he was kind enough to let me have a copy. Listen to a track here.)
Em McKeever - Demo (Graciously recorded by Shane Palko)
Em McKeever - Videogame music (written for Jed's videogame! I just put it on a CD so I could drive around and listen to it.)
Erik Mitchell - All These Words (got it at the Christmas show we played at the Queen!)
Shane Palko - Pretty Good Songs Volume VII (The first one.)
Shane Palko - Going Places (The second one. I think I attended the CD release show for this? It would have been very shortly after meeting him.)
Shane Palko - Songs from Pretoria (Shane's currently back in South Africa releasing his CD all over. And doing research. His blog's here.)
Rainy Day Cacophony - Dirty Words (Met at a Palko Basement show. Tim, I think? Cool guy, was glad to make his acquaintance.)
Jess Ray and the Rag Tag Army (Doesn't seem to have a title and I don't know where it came from! Possibly another gift.)
Rachel Schain - Happy Happy (Yeah, lady singer-songwriters!! Rachel is awesome.)
Victory Shoes (no idea??? I think I got it at a show, possibly Palko show.)
Windowview - Pine Island (Picked this up at an inDEpendence networking event, I believe actually the first one, from a bandmother. :)

Compilations:
A Diner Club Christmas (The Paper Janes, Battleshy Youths, Em McKeever and friends)
Christmas on the Block (WSTW/Graffiti Radio)


I actually don't yet have some of my favorite bands, like The Hundred Acre Woods and Bullbuckers, but I'll fix that soon enough!

I want to tell you a story.

When I was a kid, I wanted a trophy. I wanted a trophy so badly. I don't know how I got the notion that I wanted a trophy, but darnit, I wanted a trophy.

The next thing I know, I'm on this soccer team. I don't remember if I asked, or if my parents convinced me that I would get a trophy if I joined the team. Anyway, I'm in first grade and on this soccer team.

Turns out even in the first grade, I was pretty much a nonconformist. In a very short period of time, I noticed that most of the kids were out chasing the ball. In a huge mass. I also noticed that I was not necessarily the fastest of the kids, so my chances of getting control of the ball were slim to nil.

In short order, I decided that my skills were needed elsewhere, like, being on defense.

I have a lot of memories of getting yelled at for doing my own thing. Such as the defense shenanigans. Or maybe the one time when I FINALLY GOT CONTROL OF THE BALL! And then tried to kick it into my own goal.

Basically, we didn't get trophies that year.


Still, though. There's something really disheartening when folks continually yell at you just for being you. I really had no clue what I was doing out on the field, but I thought I was doing pretty good. In all honesty. I was using my brain! Unlike all the other kids who were chasing the ball in a mindless mass. Puh-lease.


So here's me, trying to sing.

Here's me, through high school, knowing I can carry a tune and even harmonize, but feeling vaguely like I shouldn't try.

Here's me, through college, discovering I was right about carrying tunes, and getting assigned to the alto 2 section of glee, thereby cementing in my mind that I should never try to sing high, because the college people put me in the alto section and they must know what they're doing.

Here's me, after college, writing more and more songs. I believed that my voice was actually fairly unlovely, but the songs needed to come OUT, and they're my babies and I couldn't see asking someone else to sing them for me.

Here's me, now. Having been coached, one-on-one, concerning my vocals for the very first time.

I found out that most of what I believed about myself is total garbage.

And I just feel like a completely new person.

I feel like somebody finally saw this crazy kid running around on the soccer field doing all the wrong things... told her not to be down because the coach yells at her... told her that she is a good soccer player, gave her a focus, and stepped up her game.

Granted, yes, I have work to do.

But I know how to get the trophy now.

I'm not even going to pretend like I know what I'm doing. Part of why I like keeping this blog is because I want to see where I'm improving. You can't admit that you're improving without also admitting that you're coming from a less-refined state.

So, I've never felt like I knew what I was doing vocally. I've never had a private voice lesson in my life. But I had songs inside of me, and the four years of glee in college managed to convince me that I could, at least, render sketchy versions said songs.

After I got out of college and began working, the perfectionist side of me began to give way to a version of me that said, "just do it." I took jobs that were definitely not necessarily what I had planned on, but I liked them and found that if I just did them enough, I would get to a place where I felt as solid as I actually was.

Which is how I began to accept that I could do this. Despite studying classical guitar for ten years, I never believed I was supposed to become a musician until I began to know God a little better, and His main thing for awhile was all, "you're a musician. you'll be mildly unhappy until you can accept that."

FINE, I said.

So I just did it. Though I knew I was not where I wanted to be. I was aware of my stumbling and my imperfections and when you're a performer, you just bravado your way right through them, because, you have to.


I left Sound Stage last Thursday, feeling... different. Feeling like I had nailed it. My mom confirmed it.

I can't say what happened, but we both tended to agree that something strange is happening with the vocals. Like, they're getting better. Or something. I sing out and it just feels, I don't know... stronger? Sort of like it was a suspension bridge before and now it's all fancy and solid and you can stand on it without getting blown around in the wind.

Maybe it's a fluke. I hope not, though, because I really like this.

This week: Sound Stage (radio) and Dobbs (open mic)

I recently had the chance to appear on Sound Stage (facebook page) (webpage)! Sound Stage is a radio show that airs on 1520 AM WCHE out of West Chester, PA, from 4-5 pm on Thursdays. They feature local musicians. I managed to meet Bryn at an open mic at the Queen, who hooked me up with this snazzy opportunity.

It was laid-back and totally awesome. Mike (of Rivers Monroe) runs a good show! AND, there's a podcast up! So you can go listen to that.

I brought my dulcimer on the air and played "Sweet Life," a fairly recent little song of mine that gets rave reviews from the small pool of people who have heard it. :) It's slated to appear on the album. It's close to the end, if you want to search it out. I love introducing people to the dulcimer this way.

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Oh, and Dobbs. I finally made it to Dobbs. Or, Legendary Dobbs. Or whatevah. Actually, this was the day before the aforementioned radio appearance. I'm a little out of sequence. And I'm not going to apologize.

Anyway.

Dobbs is in Philly. Philly is not... that... close. I know, I know, I know - everyone else drives way more than me for their art. Or the things they love. Or even work. (Which may or may not be something they love, but that's another topic for another day.) Most people I know that *do* things, they just drive a lot. I am still getting used to the fact that I am one of these people. Frankly, I don't mind the driving or the solitude, I'm just that much more aware that my life can be ended by someone sending a text message. And the emissions, and the gas consumption. My brain is occupied by too many things.

So, now that I've tried to talk about PHILLY and DOBBS for a whole two PARAGRAPHS now, let's do it.

I drove up to Philly. After a six-hour shift, I threw on some normal-people clothes and bam. Philly. Met up with a friend for the afternoon, then passed some time scribbling in a journal in a coffeeshop before heading over to Jacopo's for dinner. Time very well spent. I am generally appreciative of cities (moreso when I don't have to worry about parking in them), and it's a very different thing to meet up with excellent acquaintances and collaborate on memory-making versus exploring on your own.

Apart from being a great singer-songwriter and performer, Jacopo is a great chef. You need to know this. For some reason. Again, a very different thing, going to an open mic with a Philly native instead of toughing it out on my own (which is what I'm inclined to do most of the time). We were joined at Dobbs by Brene Wilson, another Delawarean singer-songwriter.

The funny thing about this open mic is that it virtually does not exist on the internet. Either that, or my search skills are beginning to degenerate. I couldn't find very much on a sign-up time or start time. As I said, knowing someone who goes to the thing more than I do helps a lot. Signup's at 8, performances at 9. Two-song format, which I like, and which other local open mics seem to be trending toward. It's run very professionally by John Faye (of John & Brittany as well as IKE). It's got my seal of approval. I gave my FAWM pitch, but I don't think I piqued anyone's interest.

However, I will not be deterred. The FAWM rolls on.

Neither did the ice on 95 deter me from driving home in twice the time it would have ordinarily took. It ended up being a 12-hour day in Philly with 3 hours of driving.

WORTH IT.

:D

Background music, silence, stream of consciousness

Background music should be the bane of every musician's existence. It really gets under my skin, but then I'm guilty of it. I have this compulsion, every time I get in the car, to turn up the music ALL. THE. WAY. So that everyone can appreciate punk/ska and videogame remixes. You're welcome.

At home, too. I turn on a YouTube playlist to do just about anything. ALL. THE. WAY.

Sometimes, I am actively listening.

Not all the time, though.

Music should not be something we are trained to tune out, but that's what background music does to us. There's music playing, but you're focused on the ad, or what someone's trying to converse with you about, or...

What is it about silence that disturbs us so much?


Someone recently reminded me of that fundamental understanding, that music is given its weight by silence. A cacophony of sound does not equal music, necessarily. We need silent times and quiet times.

And I expand that into my life, because like the overly loud Streetlight Manifesto, I, too, live loudly with too many actions and too many commitments. The busyness has become a soothing buzz and now I have somewhat forgotten how to relax and lean into the cradle of silence.

How can notes have significance without silence to surround them?

How can my actions have significance if I only do them to do them? Because I don't know how to stop doing? To make a splash of noise in a noisy world?

Shhhhhhhh.

And forgive this random plot of thoughts. Hope you enjoyed them.

New year, new website, new FAWM.

WEB
SITE
IS
UP
!!!!!!!!!


Entirely designed and coded by myself, and YES, I am proud of that. A co-worker and I set a deadline of December 31st, since we each had a website that we wanted to finish. Here's hers! (She runs a quilting business out of New Castle County in DE.)

The site itself a pretty basic affair, and that's how I like it. Not too much stuff. Just enough stuff, and then links out to social media for anyone who cares to follow. It is amazing how social media and other such stuff has changed the way we use the internet. All I had to do was come up with a very basic template for my website, and then copy and paste code from ReverbNation and YouTube. All of a sudden, my website streams audio and video and upcoming events. Magic.

I owe a debt of gratitude to Michael, who cared enough to give me feedback here and there and helped me find a good hosting service. ^^ Thanks!

I want to get an e-mail list set up because I think I have people who'd prefer to get their news that way... but for now, I will revel in the completion of this step.

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And HAPPY NEW YEAR! I had meant to write some sort of thing about how 2011 is over and blah blah blah, but honestly I was too busy contra dancin'! ^^ The Cosmic Otters played at Glenside on Friday for a New Year's Eve Eve dance (complete with toast at midnight!). Then, I danced yesterday at Arden to the playin' 'n pickin' of the Contra Rebels. Good, good times, and what a way to end one year and begin another. ^^

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Speaking of a new year, FAWM... is just around the corner... ^^ Now that Christmas is out of the way, it's time to go go go with the FAWMinatin', organizing, the awesome chaos of it all.